Emotional wounds are responsible for most of our suffering. Loss, heartbreak, disappointment and shame are some of the biggest, yet all emotional pain can cause trauma and fear.
It’s natural to be afraid of things that hurt us, but we need to avoid getting stuck in the fear of the mind. Your mind wants you to believe that in order to be “ok” you need to avoid negative or painful emotions. This is the mind attempting to control your feelings and it is what keeps us from healing. Fear acts as a block to your true emotions. We use fear as a shield. As long as we hide behind fear we don’t have to touch the wound and feel more pain. Yet the denial of our true feelings is what keeps us stuck.
Our inherent human ability to seek physical safety through fight or flight is not a valid or effective response for healing, evolving or returning to a state of peace when it comes to emotional safety.
We are susceptible to all emotions. When we experience any emotion, it must be felt and processed until that particular emotion is ready to shift. This means being with the grief/pain/hurt/loss by allowing the emotion to be present. This is the natural cycle of transformation and healing. As emotions process and shift, you are able to allow new emotions and experiences to fill your state of being.
The way to heal an emotional wound is to tend to it much the same way as you would a physical wound. When you scrape or cut your skin, you observe it, clean the area, pamper the wound and give it space to heal. During this period you are aware of the wound and allow the natural process of healing to take place. Superficial sensitivities begin to fade and new skin growth begins to happen. When healing has taken place, you begin interacting with that area as usual, risking another scrape or cut, but knowing that this part of your body is meant to be engaged, and so you use it and allow it to be exposed to the world.
With emotional wounds, we need to be gentle and good care-takers, but also be watchful for the healing instead of blocking the healing with fear of more pain. As we allow the difficult emotion, we actually gain strength and new layers of emotional integrity. As quoted from The Fearless Path, “You don’t grow in spite of the pain, but because of it.”