I want to about what trauma actually is, as opposed to what some people believe it to be because it is the foundation of many people’s suffering.
Trauma is a result of any difficult experience that we were not able to process at the time.
In one of the recent podcasts, I was talking with EMDR therapist Robert Grigore about healing trauma.
You may have not experienced a traumatic event that is typically recognized as trauma such as a rape, or a veteran of war or a car crash. Those are what Robert described as big T traumas. But it is more than likely that you have experienced little t traumas such as verbal or emotional abuse, neglect, or betrayal.
Even unexpected losses can be traumatic if we haven’t had the time or tools to process them. In my first book I refer to these experiences as PTED, or Post Traumatic Emotional Disorder, which I believe affects us all. since we are born into a world with imperfect people who were also wounded and without much support to heal or self-actualize.
We’ve each experienced a low-grade and persistent trauma witnessing the unfolding of this pandemic. The collective and on-going fear, disagreements, losses, abandonments, changes to our routine… these are ingredients of trauma formation, and we need to pay attention to the affect it is having, or had, on our minds and emotions.
I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life. Big T and little t trauma. Because of my experiences I’m able to have insight into others more easily, and I share it in hopes that it inspires others that healing is possible. I grew up with a mentally ill grandfather who didn’t talk, work or function for years. My parents divorced and didn’t speak to each other, leaving me and my sister in a difficult situation. That same year my aunt was murdered. Then my father and I walked into the house as a burglar was running out. I had a dog stolen from my yard, poisoned, then returned when I was a young teenager. I was raped at age 20. Car crashes in the middle of the night on the highway all alone. And much more.
I reacted to these traumas as many people do who don’t know how to process such events: extreme anxiety, alcohol abuse, smoking, bulimia, running away, denying, blaming, seeking validation, pretending…
Learning the mind-body-emotional matrix and energy medicine, and channeling spiritual connection that saved my life. Many people call me a spiritual teacher or intuitive or a healer. No matter what you call it, what I do at the base level is help people recover from trauma using emotional healing tools with spiritual alignment and inspiration.
Why is healing from trauma so important? Because our minds, emotional bodies and energy systems store and remember the feelings of everything that we’ve experienced. These memories form what I call our emotional energetic imprints, which take shape in our youth. And if we have not processed and healed the negative memory of those imprints, we continue to operate from the beliefs and emotions connected to them.
Now, as you can imagine, those difficult or painful experiences that we’ll call traumas, have a very low vibration as they are often associated with fear, pain, shame, guilt or anger. If we are operating out of that imprint and it’s corresponding low vibration, no matter what we do in our rational minds (meditation, prayer, positive thinking), we will attract continue to attract life experiences that match or resonate with our lower vibrational imprints. This is the law of attraction at its core.
To heal doesn’t mean we forget. It does mean we are “over it” or “let it go.” It means that we form a relationship with our inner selves and spiritual life that leads us to feel whole, solid and confident so that we can remember without pain or blame, and integrate those experience into our lives. Holding them gently with honor and respect. Eventually, we grow into a higher vibrational frequency using compassion, acceptance and love and then begin attracting new life experiences and relationships from this place.
This is self-love at its core. When we are no longer hiding from situations or people, when we are not triggered by memories or associations with others, when we don’t live in fear of being hurt again, those are the signs that our self-love and healing are larger than our original trauma.
If any of this resonates with you, I hope that you are active in your pursuit of healing. That you take steps each day to practice curiosity, self-forgiveness, forgiveness of others and compassion so you can release the addiction to the pain of past traumas and step into a life that is rich, whole, and full of peace and harmony.II want you to experience being able to sit with the traumas, whether they are little t or big T, without judging them, recoiling from their memory or inflicting self-harm because of them.
If you need my support to get there, please consider my new book Overcoming Toxic Emotions, or subscribe to my new podcast, The Modern Sage Podcast, or reach out for individual healing sessions. I know healing can feel daunting, but it is possible by stepping into the process rather than being overwhelmed by it.
Thinking of you and hope you are well.