Trauma recovery

Trauma recovery

I want to about what trauma actually is, as opposed to what some people believe it to be because it is the foundation of many people’s suffering. 

Trauma is a result of any difficult experience that we were not able to process at the time. 

In one of the recent podcasts, I was talking with EMDR therapist Robert Grigore about healing trauma.

You may have not experienced a traumatic event that is typically recognized as trauma such as a rape, or a veteran of war or a car crash. Those are what Robert described as big T traumas. But it is more than likely that you have experienced little t traumas such as verbal or emotional abuse, neglect, or betrayal. 

Even unexpected losses can be traumatic if we haven’t had the time or tools to process them. In my first book I refer to these experiences as PTED, or Post Traumatic Emotional Disorder, which I believe affects us all. since we are born into a world with imperfect people who were also wounded and without much support to heal or self-actualize.

We’ve each experienced a low-grade and persistent trauma witnessing the unfolding of this pandemic. The collective and on-going fear, disagreements, losses, abandonments, changes to our routine… these are ingredients of trauma formation, and we need to pay attention to the affect it is having, or had, on our minds and emotions.  

I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life. Big T and little t trauma. Because of my experiences I’m able to have insight into others more easily, and I share it in hopes that it inspires others that healing is possible. I grew up with a mentally ill grandfather who didn’t talk, work or function for years. My parents divorced and didn’t speak to each other, leaving me and my sister in a difficult situation. That same year my aunt was murdered. Then my father and I walked into the house as a burglar was running out. I had a dog stolen from my yard, poisoned, then returned when I was a young teenager. I was raped at age 20. Car crashes in the middle of the night on the highway all alone. And much more. 

I reacted to these traumas as many people do who don’t know how to process such events: extreme anxiety, alcohol abuse, smoking, bulimia, running away, denying, blaming, seeking validation, pretending… 

Learning the mind-body-emotional matrix and energy medicine, and channeling spiritual connection that saved my life. Many people call me a spiritual teacher or intuitive or a healer. No matter what you call it, what I do at the base level is help people recover from trauma using emotional healing tools with spiritual alignment and inspiration.

Why is healing from trauma so important? Because our minds, emotional bodies and energy systems store and remember the feelings of everything that we’ve experienced. These memories form what I call our emotional energetic imprints, which take shape in our youth. And if we have not processed and healed the negative memory of those imprints, we continue to operate from the beliefs and emotions connected to them. 

 Now, as you can imagine, those difficult or painful experiences that we’ll call traumas, have a very low vibration as they are often associated with fear, pain, shame, guilt or anger. If we are operating out of that imprint and it’s corresponding low vibration, no matter what we do in our rational minds (meditation, prayer, positive thinking), we will attract continue to attract life experiences that match or resonate with our lower vibrational imprints. This is the law of attraction at its core.

To heal doesn’t mean we forget. It does mean we are “over it” or “let it go.” It means that we   form a relationship with our inner selves and spiritual life that leads us to feel whole, solid and confident so that we can remember without pain or blame, and integrate those experience into our lives. Holding them gently with honor and respect. Eventually, we grow into a higher vibrational frequency using compassion, acceptance and love and then begin attracting new life experiences and relationships from this place. 

This is self-love at its core. When we are no longer hiding from situations or people, when we are not triggered by memories or associations with others, when we don’t live in fear of being hurt again, those are the signs that our self-love and healing are larger than our original trauma. 

If any of this resonates with you, I hope that you are active in your pursuit of healing. That you take steps each day to practice curiosity, self-forgiveness, forgiveness of others and compassion so you can release the addiction to the pain of past traumas and step into a life that is rich, whole, and full of peace and harmony.II want you to experience being able to sit with the traumas, whether they are little t or big T, without judging them, recoiling from their memory or inflicting self-harm because of them. 

If you need my support to get there, please consider my new book Overcoming Toxic Emotions, or subscribe to my new podcast, The Modern Sage Podcast, or reach out for individual healing sessions. I know healing can feel daunting, but it is possible by stepping into the process rather than being overwhelmed by it.  

Thinking of you and hope you are well. 

To See Things for The First Time

To See Things for The First Time

What would it be like to see things, again, for the first time? As adults, it’s hard to find many things that we’ve never seen before unless you have a curious mind and spirit of exploration. We generally look at things and without much thought, formulate a judgment or feeling associated with the thing from our mental rolodex of past experiences. We take it for granted. What if it were possible to have fresh eyes and see the mundane as something magical?

For those of you who follow me on social media, you know I lost my dog about 7 weeks ago. After much grieving, I began considering getting another dog, but wasn’t sure I was ready. Last week, on a day off, I went to the shore to take a walk and came home with a puppy. This little girl captured my heart, if even just to foster her for the time-being, and we’ve become fast friends. 

During my time with her, I’m remembering the joy of seeing things for the first time. The most ordinary things to me are the most extraordinary things to her. Shoelaces, leaves, snow, a water fountain, cats, sticks and toys. This little girl is taking in life for the first time and it’s thrilling. I realize animals are different than humans in the way our brains function, but I have to admit I’ve become envious, and attempting to mimic, the enthusiasm of her discoveries. 

What if we could become so present that we actually noticed the glory of a leaf? What if we were able to quiet the pre-existing judgments and beliefs about how life works, how people behave, and allow ourselves to be open enough to witness each encounter with a sense of discovery, not pre-conceptions? 

As I drove home from the vet today with Cali, I chose different music and listened to it with ears that have brushed past songs in the past due to their tempo or even the station. I was seeing the sun set, after a long winter, and felt giddy with amazement of the beauty that it holds. I ate my potato/pepper soup slowly, trying to discern what all of the flavors were, and how each one was brighter on different parts of my tongue. 

I believe, with more faith, that it is possible to override our emotional and mental imprints, if we attune to the moment with precision. It’s easy to just go through the motions, but doing that creates just a monotonous flavor that often doesn’t inspire. I’m wondering, if you give yourself time to become more aware of the voices that try to predetermine your experience, and let them know you feel safe enough to form new experiences, that we can, in fact, become like little puppies – thrilled and amazed with the smallest of pleasures. The act of quieting can be challenging, but it liberates us to experience life with brand new awareness. 

The short of it is, puppy vision can lead to awakening. 

Be well, my friends. Be present. 

Why Am I So Anxious?

Why Am I So Anxious?

Why Am I so Anxious Cover Image

You guys know I’m no stranger to anxiety. At one point in my 20’s anxiety had such a grip on me I couldn’t drive with a panic attack, was drinking to sleep and in a heightened state most of the time. 

What I loved about my conversation with Dr. Marks (aside from also loving her authenticity and vibe!) was that her thorough practice of psychiatry is nicely blended with natural approaches to healing. She shares some of her anxious times and how she copes and I share mine. 

What I will say is the practices that I’ve used for the past 25 years, many of them discussed in her book and/or mine, have saved my life and changed my relationship to being awake. Breath work, acupuncture, yoga or movement, essential oils, mindfulness and meditation are hugely helpful. The real turning point for me was learning how to process emotions and how to integrate spirituality INTO my life, not just talk about it. 

 I encourage you to take a listen to this convo, and better yet, if you have some time on Sept 25, join me for my Live Workshop on InsightTimer; Emotional Addiction Recovery

If you experience anxiety and it feels out of control, please know that there are many resources and real change is possible. While certain amounts of anxiety are normal, we can lesson the suffering and re-pattern our minds, bodies and emotional imprints and feel more free. 

Hope it’s a great day!!